The life of a Proxy man

Yaar agar college life ka maza lena hai toh kabhi Proxy maar ke dekho!!!

Who says cigarettes or liquor is addictive???

There are fewer things in life which are more addictive than the above mentioned two and one of those is Proxy. Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of a person who has given proxy or about to give proxy? Here is a small insight into a day of a proxy man (well sounds like superman and spider man). The job is as risky as theirs J

As I tried hard to wake myself up from a deep slumber for the class, the first words I heard in the morning were from my roommates: “Hey!!! Could you put proxy for me in today’s class as I have some urgent work to be finished and would not be able to make to the class”. Well now you will know this is the advantage of having a roomie who is good in giving proxies L I pushed myself from the bed as I now had this extra responsibility of putting attendance for my roommate (Well as they say: “A roommate in need is roommate in indeed”). I took out my brush and glanced at the newspaper while going out of the room. I did not even cross the threshold of my room, and then my neighbour called me asking me to put proxy for him as well. And by the time I crossed hostel the number of proxies to be put had swelled to three. Phew!!! Ain’t that sufficient for the day?

I still remember it had been few months since I had put my first proxy. That time it was an adventure and I had just started to have fun after 3 years of wilderness trying to find my identity. But as they say, giving proxy is as much, if not more than, addictive as liquor or cigarettes. And thus which started as fun turned out into an addiction. Now as my classmates say that I have become an expert in the field, so has the demand for me.

The first classes during winters are really difficult for lazy bums to get up and come to the class so the attendance is normally less. The first two classes were cakewalk in terms of putting proxies. (Refer to the rules and Dos and Don’ts of Proxy at the end). Putting three proxies in a class isn’t difficult if you know the dos and don’ts of proxy. During the third class of the day normally you would get maximum attendance as most of the students get up and come to the class at that time. But the post lunch sessions are the most difficult to handle. As normally one or two classes take place at max which results in most of the students rushing back to the hostels. But if you are sincere student (then this can be curse for you). I still don’t understand the logic of trying to achieve 100% attendance (Come on!!! you don’t get extra marks for having for attaining centum but then as they say it comes in nature. So I have this knack of trying to achieve 100% attendance. It could be termed as another addiction). Coming back to the post lunch session, two of my close friends asked me if I can put proxy for them. In friendship one can’t say no but then the bait is that in near future I would get the benefit. I just counted I had to give 5 proxies along with my attendance that makes a total of 6. It can be also termed as suicidal but then as they say it is addictive too.

There are 3-4 consummate proxy kings (which means supply is very less so is the demand for them is very high) in the class. At least we could put your Economics knowledge to something practical in life. As the session started it was getting tougher and tougher to keep your eyes open in the class. I could never understand the logic of putting all the theoretical boring subjects post lunch when your sleep is inversely proportional to the amount of interest you have for the subject. Keeping eyes wide open we tried hard to concentrate in the class but it was turning out to be really boring. But then the more boring the class is then the more determined you become to help others to make them stay away from this misery. As the attendance started, it all boiled down to the choice of the teacher, we bathed in deep anxiety to know if he was taking attendance himself or giving it to one of the students. Luckily he chose one of the students to take attendance and this was something we were waiting for. Before the start of the attendance we counted that there were 60 odd people and total number of proxies to be given were around 18 but it was scattered among 7-8 students. The roll call started, my first number was within top 10 (Rule 4). It was easy to give as just after the class gets over there is tendency for some of the students to ask doubts to teachers. This helps to divert the mind of teachers and helps lucky souls like us to do our job. The next two proxies were also an easy meat for me. 3 out of 3 (100% strike till now). But troubled started soon after, while giving my fourth proxy there was another student who shouted YES along-with me. (Gosh I hate this!!! Why do people tell more than one person for proxy? Don’t they trust in the ability? Well we have sometimes thought of banning these kinds of people). That got teacher into alert mood and asked who said yes but nobody spoke (Rule 2). And thus teacher asked that particular number to meet next day. So, one proxy got pasted (3 out of 4. Not bad but if you are used to 100% strike rate this is an under achievement). Now teacher decided to be very alert for the rest of the roll numbers. The counting proceeded again, this time teacher was fully alert so we couldn’t give. Suddenly one of the students made mistake and gave proxy for one of the Surds in the class. Well this I would call a big mistake (you can refer to Dos and Don’ts No 5) as Surds are very distinctive looking and can be easily traced. So teacher asked again who gave proxy for him and as usual nobody spoke. This was turning out to be very bad day in terms of proxy. I tried but could not give my fifth proxy as it was very risky and the roll call ended so was the chance of giving more proxies. But it was not to be, Plan B^b took place. I approached teacher and told that I missed my roll call so if he can mark me present. Unsuspecting teacher thus gave me (I mean my fellow student) attendance. This is the advantage of keeping a low profile in the class. And thus I was able to give 4 out of 5 proxies (80% not bad!!!). At the end of the day, our job is to inform all the concerned with the good news and the bad news. With this the day ends for a typical proxy guy. Well nobody is concerned what happens to you post college hours. But then, whatever you say, it is very interesting and challenging too and in the boring life of a college student this acts as refreshment.

Dos & Don’ts

1. There are some classes, where it is very easy to put proxy. These are the classes normally where teachers ask students to take attendance.

2. Identify those subjects in which proxy is strict NO-NO and never ever try proxy in these subjects.

3. There needs to be proper coordination between the people giving proxies so as to two different people don’t give proxy at the same instant.

4. Always select those numbers for giving proxy which are not near to each other. As it gives chance to regroup and try for alternate strategies.

5. Never give proxy for person who is popular in the eye of teacher, especially those distinctive looking in the class. 

 

Rules

1. You need to be very confident while giving proxy. As one of my teacher told us, in light hearted fashion, if you people are giving proxy then be loud so that teacher doesn’t get suspect.

2. If a teacher catches any number in which proxy is given, then the name of the person giving proxy is never divulged.

3. Don’t try this if you are an amateur.  

 

^b Plan B comes into play when all the role calls have ended and you are one of the unknown faces in the class. So one has to just go forward and tell the teacher that one has missed one’s roll call. So the unsuspecting teacher would mark you present. But extra care needs to be taken while taking this step.

Mumbai – who are the real outsiders???

For the past few months this question has risen many times. There has been war of words between the self-proclaimed guardian of Mumbaikar and the “outsiders” (as is called by the first group). But why is this sudden hatred towards the “outsiders”??? In order to answer this question, first we must know the history of Mumbai¹ (earlier referred as Bombay) and then about the people who are making this an issue.  

Mumbai is not known as the financial capital for no reason, as it is the dream destinations of most of the people as they come to this great city to turn their dreams into reality. If you look into the demography² of Mumbai then you would notice that atleast half of the Mumbaikar consists of people from other places. So can we say that Mumbai is only for Marathis. If you look into the history then you would notice that Mumbai has become financial capital of this country due to hard work done by the Gujarati community and in particular Baniya community (they somehow find ways of making money in this country or abroad). So why it is that question is raised about some of the people only? If one looks at the trend of the attacks then it would be noticed that only people from lower middle class are targeted as their voices are not heard in the higher echelons of the power. Who are the people behind such heinous attacks? Raj, who is more famous for his surname than his deeds, is fighting battle with his cousin to gain acceptance as the real heir to the surname attached to their names. And this is one way he can be in news and gain popularity.

But after the Mumbai attacks, the whole equation has changed. The “real” outsiders, terrorists stormed and created havoc into the city and we could not do anything. Whole of the country just watched the audacity of the terrorists who showed drawbacks in the Indian intelligence by pulling out attack at such large scale. But for the sacrifices of few good men and hundreds of policemen and commandos it could have been much worse. Thanks to our security personnel this did not turn into a large scale massacre. To these brave men, who were fighting to maintain the prestige of India, it never occurred that they are fighting on a land where people from other states are not invited. Because a true Indian would never involves oneself in such regionalism.

But the real questions are: Where were the sainiks of Mr Raj and the self proclaimed guardians of Mumbai Manoos??? Where did they go??? Wasn’t Mumbai burning??? Weren’t these terrorists the real outsiders??? These are some of the questions that would be asked again and again to these people. If someone from Bihar or UP comes and gets a job legally, then these people raises lot of hues and cries and creates havoc in the city by putting the city into ransom. But the same people were nowhere to be seen when these terrorists stormed into some of the most famous landmarks in Mumbai and killed people at their will. It’s so hypocritical, that these politicians attack innocent taxi drivers and labourers, who only dream of earning food for their family and send their children to good schools. I hope politicians rise above such petty politics which would lead to the disintegration of the country and rather concentrate on building India into a superpower where such spineless attacks are thwarted. We should all rise above regionalism and make this country a better and safer place to live, as an average Indian is not concerned about these petty politics but is highly conscious of terrorism.

The way we are proud to tell “Aamchi Mumbai”, the same way we are also proud to say “Hamara Bharat”, where all Indians are treated equal. So is Mr Raj listening??? I hope now you know who the real outsiders are...

Sources:

¹The name "Mumbai" is an eponym, etymologically derived from Mumba or Maha-Amba – the name of the Hindu goddess Mumbadevi – and Aai, "mother" in Marathi. The former name Bombay had its origins in the 16th century when the Portuguese arrived in the area. – Source wikipaedia.

²According to the 1991 census, the linguistic groups' demographics are: Maharashtrians (53%),  Gujaratis (22%), North Indians (17%), Tamils (3%), Sindhis (3%),  Tuluvas/Kannadigas (2%) and rest other. – Source wikipaedia.

My First Day @ FMS

1^st July’08 - As the clock struck 9.00 AM in my watch, I pinched myself for the umpteenth time and realized that REALLY I am here at FMS and heading for induction. Life has not been the same ever since I got admission into this prestigious college. I still remember those times when I would wake up and ask myself: Is this true?

1^st July - The date, that has become very special in my life. On this very day in 2005, I had transformed into a professional from a student. I joined Tata Consultancy Services on 1^st July’05 with a hope that someday I too will become great like Tata’s. Now three years forward here on this day, 1^st July’08, I am again going back to college hoping that this is best step that I could have taken.

Sudden pat on my back from my classmate brought me back to my senses. I was still standing at the door of the Convention center and staring at three words Faculty of Management Studies (FMS). These 3 words that would become a part of my identity hereafter and which in all probability would change my life too. 

Heading into convocation hall, looking at new faces, smiling at unknowns, trying to remember all the names at a stretch are some of the memories that I would recollect at that instant. Luckily I had made few friends before the convocation so as to share the anxieties and butterflies.

I could not have asked for a better guest of honor at our inaugural meet than Dr APJ Abdul Kalam. Mr Kalam, with whom I am proud to share my college Madras Institute of Technology, gave insight into his Vision 20:20. The audience was enthralled not only with his knowledge but also with his simplicity. As one of the members on the dais told that we are lucky to be addressed by Mr Kalam in our inaugural meet itself whereas he had to wait for 40 years to get such an honor. How true those words were. We then headed for lunch. There I got introduced to other new species like me (not knowing where our destiny was taking us). After the break we reassembled in the hall and had introduction session. The students were asked to introduce themselves to the faculties, seniors and the entire 2010 batch. We had quite a few funny introductions and some mundane boring too J With those introductions our induction ended and we were formally inducted into the BATCH of 2010.

But that was just the beginning because soon to come was one of the most interesting parts of my MBA life – INDUCTION FORTNIGHT

My First Blog !!!

This is one thing which I had always wanted to do but somehow couldn’t push my lazy bones to do it. As they say, the first few steps are always the most difficult ones, I hope that this turns out true and I become a regular blogger. My fascination for blogging started when I visited my bro’s blog, which inspired me to create my own blog. And today I am here writing my own blog. Isn’t that great J

But the question remains!!! Why would somebody blog ??? Or Why am I doing it ???

Over so many years I have realized one thing, there are very few memorable moments in life. And one wants to relive those moments again and again. One way of doing it is to pen down and refresh your memories again and again. Or, in such a technologically advanced age, one can simply write blogs. I found the second option much simpler so here I am writing my own blog. Hopefully this would continue till eternity or rather till I am into my senses.

With this simple introduction, I now pronounce my Blog open (Wish had some Chief Guest to do the honours)